Poem: Man in the mirror

I woke up today like any other day

While rolling around in my head

It distinctly occurred to me that I was a hypocrite

A hypocrite

For everything I was meant to do that I didn’t

A hypocrite

For every time I chose the wrong option just for its ease or pleasure

A hypocrite

For every time I was Idle when I had so much work to do

A hypocrite

For everything I was blessed with that I wasted or invested in sin

A hypocrite

For every favour I did selfishly


A hypocrite

Like all those who asked me for honest advice and yet chose the other option

Who was I to be mad at them for wasting my time?

Why would they do the right thing when the person offering advice is a victim too?

Even if they were better for it, would it help me? Encourage me?

There is always an easy way out, why is it usually the wrong one?

How easy is it to take the right way when the wrong way is easier?

In this day and age where kids are brought up in a world that gets easier by the day,

Why would anyone be behind the times and try to do otherwise?

Easier not to care

Easier not to love

Easier cos there are always options

Move with the times, moves with the times, move with the times I say!

But it’s getting harder as well.

Am I the only one who sees this?

Is not it getting harder?

To breathe with all that pollution?

To see in person when they’re just a ping away?

To relish the warmth of touch when a bed is just a walk away?

To sit and talk when work’s piled up for days?

To tell the truth when the lie seems the democratic way?

To find what we need under all this information overlay?


But change is the only constant thing

Think again! Truth is constant!

There used to be a time when all knew the truth

We didn’t have to speak it cos we lived it

Now we find it near impossible to speak about it

Simply cos we killed it! WE ALL killed it!

Who will convict us? Our conscience?

Our conscience is its only witness to its own murder!

Without a guide, how do we know where we are heading?

Like sailors at sea slowly sailing towards sirens

What is virtue?

Patience is for fools!

Be fast and furious!

Be raw and rugged!

Be giddy and greedy!

Be wily and witty!

Now its truth against tolerance

Respect against liberty

Patience against ambition

Integrity against impression

Semantics against redefinition

Can’t beat them?

Join them?

Can’t always win?

Pick your own strengths and your own weaknesses

Pick what you win at and what you will sacrifice?

Pick your sins?

Pick your scenes?

Is there equilibrium between reward and consequence?

Do we always lose some when we win some?

Opportunity cost you say?

But it can’t be that way!

We always get away with it!

Burned liver, overwhelming spleen

Deteriorating economy, withering skin

Ghost like soul, narcissistic whim


Me, myself and I, the counterfeit’s triangle

The lies me hides from I,

The hate I hide(s) from myself,

The lack of faith myself has in me

The synthesis of our hypocrisy


Speak Out

So it’s about 10pm and I’m to call someone. Tried a couple of times but it turns out they fell asleep. Smh. Giving a limited time for them to call back I decided to listen to the radio while gaming. A night show with N6 and Joy of Cool FM was on and I got stuck all the way till 1am. I have missed night radio I must confess especially on those nights I was up late and had the silence to accompany my drab lab reports.

So there were several calls and some bewildering stories like the chick whose friend took her where her fiancé was squashing her mum’s 49 year old friend or the bathing girl who washed her face clean just to see a married man looking at her and then he gave her a thumb up. Or the story of a working class guy who streaked for 5k along a popular road at night. LOL. Between the laughs and solemn talks it was all quaint.

But the story that really caught my attention was that of a girl who got a ride from a co-worker who raped her not once but five times. L. That’s just the coldest. It’s every girl’s nightmare just as it is every guy’s to end up in prison with some huge scoundrel. *shrugs*. Imagine you, new job, great colleagues, you’re really excited and then someday one of them decides to give you a lift and then he takes you and … no one sees that coming. But it does happen, even though it may not be in the same form.

We live in this age where sex is everywhere! We couldn’t escape it if we tried. We can only minimize its effects if we cared to. A lot of us don’t get introduced to it the right way and just as everything else we are ignorant of, we tend to abuse it.”Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions” -Oliver Wendell Holmes. Thereby people develop all sorts of habits from the mild perversions to utter debauchery. I don’t support prostitution but then just as some callers suggested, a working class guy like himself could easily afford those who would even go beyond 5 rounds. Then why make a non-consenting adult go through that trauma?

Before we go pointing fingers here, it’s not always that simple. Besides consensual sex, there are other scenarios. Sex is like a slope, one just keeps sliding down once they start skating. It’s all a question of where you set the limit and if the other person respects it because in an instant all the lines get blurred and ‘boundaries’ are crossed. You want just a kiss and then he reaches for the twins, a case where the occasional make out session goes wrong and today he isn’t turning back at the gate, ‘just a visit’ and you’re begging for mercy, a last minute change of heart but he won’t have none of that and so on.

These are things that happen around and only a few of them get out. Like recently in the newspaper where a man impregnated two of his daughters and got caught when trying to sleep with the third. How many people have gone through these things and had to keep it to themselves? When is it going to stop? In the old days when this happens to a girl, a stigma is attached to her, now that we are better educated have we grown from that? A lot of people are traumatised from these incidents and they only keep it to themselves, they don’t get treatment or adequate attention to heal and recover from the psychological effect this brings to them. A lot of them go around feeling all is well while they are still suffering from the side effects.

My opinion is that women should speak out. It’s very important they do and look out for themselves and their children. A huge percentage of rape cases or assault is done by close persons, from families to friends and associates. This means women have to be extra careful with whom they trust. Men also have to realise that women are our mothers, our sisters and friends and they must hold some kind of self-restraint even if we are in a world where the unrealistic mindset is to do whatever makes you happy. A lot of things around here are allowed to pass by with us saying “What has happened has happened”, it’s time we put a stop to it.

Ergo, as you ladies sing Aretha Franklin’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T, demand it by the way you live, meaning what you say and voicing out your opinions and your hurt. The lady that took her friend to where her fiancé was cheating on her did something rare. Not everyone can say that because we are all scared of being put in the middle and ending up with the blame. As lighthouse family say in their song “Question of Faith”, “Nowadays nobody speaks about, the way they feel about things”. This is a problem and the first step to solving it is speaking out, from the heart where it hurts the most.