Thoughts: The Domino Effect

One of the worst things is working all your life and not having a plan for when you retire. Recently someone told me of someone who worked in a power station where there was constant electricity supply and security. After he retired, he had to move out and it took him about 2 or 3 years to adapt to life outside his comfort zone. Today I see a lot of changes going on in society and I wonder, where is all this leading to? Are we making changes just because we can or is there something specific we are working towards?

Recently in America the gay marriage law was passed. Finally ‘sense’ prevailed that all forms of love should be treated equally and given the same rights. It started with talking about it, broadcasting it, gradually desensitising the general public till people started to be indifferent, and then sympathetic and finally supportive. Well what is done is done, it was only a matter of time after all persistence pays. But then I’ve got to ask, what next?

What other ‘forms’ of love are we discriminating against? What other groups of people are being suppressed? What other things that would be classified as a sickness centuries ago is to be normalised today? Well maybe not today per say, say in a couple of years’ time?

domino effect

The basic thought behind the homosexual philosophy is that love cannot be limited and that people have no control over whom they love and should not be forced to love the opposite sex if they lack the ability to. This is what society has tried to force down their throats with things like lesbians being raped as a ‘corrective’ measure. Why would a man pursue a relationship with a woman when he is clearly not attracted to her and vice versa? Why should a person who is clearly not attracted to a person above the legal age be forced to pursue a relationship when they’re clearly not attracted to them and vice versa?

It used to be unheard of that a woman would date or marry a man many years her junior, but that’s obtainable today because change is the only constant thing. So why would a young boy who desires a relationship with his teacher  be denied it or a man who desires a 13 year old girl around his neighbourhood be denied his one ‘true’ love?

An elder once said they weren’t exposed to sex till they were well in their 20s, but they were heavily disadvantaged. If only they knew sex sells! Let’s face it, the ‘kids’ of today get a serious head start on this issue of sex most knowing intimate details before they are teenagers. I recall a story of a girl who delivered at 13 having been impregnated by a boy who wasn’t anymore older than herself!

So wait! Kids are having sex in their teenage years, drinking, living unsupervised lives because their parents have to work and someway somehow they aren’t allowed to be attracted to people who are above a certain age limit? Ok that might be too much, let me take a detour…

I read an article where a woman happen to take her children to what was meant to be a children’s. You really should read the full story here. The summary goes that the children were dressed in bum shorts, alter necks, cut-off jeans and the likes. She noted as well that the 4 to 6 year olds at the said party danced provocatively to songs way above their censorship level. The children who were ‘behind the times’ were voted out as the others ‘twerked’ and did ‘gangsta’ moves. I myself recall over ten years ago where I was at the mall with my family and my father happened to drop his mouth open. We looked along his line of vision only to see a little girl dressed in a short skirt with her a top that had her back open. She looked no more than 3 years of age.

The article further gives instances of when little children were made up as if they were adults, she concluded by asking why, with the rising rate in child molestation, would parents decide to sexualise their kids by exposing them to things they shouldn’t be exposed to at their age.

My point? There are people out there who cannot fathom a functional relationship with a fully developed adult, they rather just have kids! Sick right? Well who are we to say? A man desiring a man was sick, now it’s cute! Children are getting sexually active a lot earlier simply because of their exposure and parents aren’t helping at all with what we expose our children to. I have seen guys my age look at teenage girls with lustful eyes, and it seems ‘alright’ because most assume those teenage girls are sexually active already. We’ve heard of teachers having sexual relationships with their students, sometimes voluntarily other times not. So what’s left? All it takes is a coalition of paedophiles to request their type of love isn’t a sickness. All it takes is the help of the trusty media to help desensitize the public. All it takes is yearly walks by the paedophile bodies yearly to let the public know they exist and do not want to have to keep hiding their love! All it takes is a decade or 2 till our kids have a right to love whomever they love regardless of their age. After all age is nothing but a number.

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My question is simple, where do we draw the line?

We Christians failed to be the light of the world by being faithful and upholding the virtues of the marriage institution. We departed from God’s plan for the community based on His instructions for the family. And so based on the fact we are living in sin, those who would ordinarily have the cause to live in shame, now feel the need and want to be open about it.

So a black man wants equal rights, the albinos deserve the same too and so do the disabled members of society. But must it end there? Nope, if a man and a woman can get married, then two men or two women should be able to do the same if they ‘truly’ love each other. So why should a grown man live in shame because of the ‘true’ love he has for a willing young lad or lass? I mean there was a case of a teacher who had a sexual relationship with her student and after her prison time, the lad had aged above the legal age and he continued his relationship with her! Isn’t that a sign love endures?

The world never learns from history, our drive for development is partially fuelled by our desire to do what we want as individuals and not necessarily what is for the public good, we live for the day and disregard the domino effect of what today’s decision could bring.

Are you ok with your child having a relationship with a fully developed adult? No? Well give it time, all it takes is time. Either take a stand today or go along with whatever comes along tomorrow. Your choice! My view on the gay marriage was addressed here and I’m unrepentantly of the opinion our kids should be allowed to live each stage of their lives as is appropriate and not allowed to grow before they should. Protect the children! Let their innocence last as long as it can before the world takes it from them!

Thoughts: Unconscious Induction

I remember as a child, looking up to certain people, from MJ, to uncles and family friends. I learnt a wide variety from them, envied them, and couldn’t wait to do the things they did. I remember excitedly watching people drive cars as it was something I realised I’d have to wait for over a decade before I was legally allowed to. I watched both sexes wear trendy clothes that seemed outrageous and yet I couldn’t wait for the chance to make a choice of what I’d wear.

Sometime last year I was in a bus and beside me was a little boy, I felt him looking at me and looking over I saw a look of admiration and a little anxiety. I smiled back hoping he would lighten up. I realised this was how it must have been as a young child looking at older ones, admiring and learning their attitudes and differences.

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Now the tables have turned and I find myself in the position where whatever I do or appear to do would have an effect on the younger ones around me. I realise my words and actions would either bring something new to them for good or bad, or reaffirm whatever they have learnt so far.

I remember advising the kids I taught to take each stage of life as it came and to never act younger or older than they were as they would certainly pass through each phase when it was due. Why live 18 at 15? 23 at 18? 30 at 20? 50 at 30? What happens when you’re 80? You’d live 112?

It was a challenge, I found myself as a teacher whose duty it was to guide and guard these kids in specific subjects as well as about life generally. It was difficult as I had my fair share of stiff teachers and had had my streaks of rebellion. I was caught in between. I wanted to be the young one who’d understand them and what they’re all about and indulge their excesses. At the same time, I wanted to be the older one who had experiences to share so that they wouldn’t make the same mistakes I had and to lay as good a foundation of discipline as I could.

How well did I do in the end?

Very well I dare say!

Only because however tough I was on them, they still were comfortable enough to open up to me and nearly 2 years after, I’m still in touch with a few of them.

My point?

The more we grow, the more liberty we gain, religiously, economically and socially, tend to use as we please, which is just great. But however much we’d like to tell the younger ones what to and what to not do, they still see what we do, and will re-enact what they fancy immediately or at some time in the future.

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I find I’m still learning so much from the older generation ahead and that it’s my duty to filter through what I learn so that whatever I imbibe is of a positive benefit to not just myself but the younger ones whom I unconsciously inspire. The future depends on how we inspire those who will take over from us, just as much as it is inspired by what we chose to keep from what we learnt every day. So choose wisely cos the younger ones would question our choices just as much as we question the older one.

gods

Man has always had the urge to look up to someone and he always has, but to every rule there is an exception and atheists have always been. But in recent years, God seems to be on the decline as some people request He is “kept out” of public occasions. The church population seems to be reducing worldwide and only few of those in the church still experience true fellowship.

So what has the focus of man’s urge turned to?

Man! Man believes he is god.

Well not always himself, as certain organisations believe, but he believes in other men that have done significant things and those “other men” themselves believe they are gods based on the things they have been able to achieve and through those that believe in them. Why share the praise and glory with someone who hasn’t been proven, who doesn’t exist, who never speaks back, and who didn’t actually do the work, which is a creation of men to keep other men in line?

These humans are on top of the world as defined by their achievement, influence, wealth, character and all the good things of life. They are the envy of those who wish to be in their shoes, the idols of those who worship them, the mentors of those fortunate to be chosen by them and thus we assign to them some of the characteristics of God, one of which is perfection.

But that’s just it. We expect perfection of them but yet we can’t wait to see their human side. One moment, Jay Z is the man, the next Solange attacked him and we want to see trouble in paradise. We even have stations like E! Entertainment dedicated to the lives of these people, both the good and the bad. They discuss bizarre facts about them. How they live, what they wear and eat, what they drive and other mundane habits.

It’s one of man’s many contradictions when he lifts up a man just so he could wait eagerly to watch him fall. It’s a continuous circle and there is never a dull moment. We enjoy watching the come up, are cheering fans at times of crisis as long as we still like them and we enjoy the mess that’s made when they come tumbling down uncontrollably.

We always win don’t we? But who suffers?

They say it’s easier to pull a man down than for him to pull you up. It’s the same way a man who molests his daughter can point fingers at Michael Jackson’s child molestation case, the same way drunks can point at popular alcoholics, and same way cheats point at cheating footballers and so on.

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But it’s funny because all it takes is for you to gain some sort of popularity and then your life gets put under the microscope for all to see. So I wonder why we point one finger towards the gods we made when three fingers point back to us. Why can’t we face ours and leave them to live their lives? Why can’t our fanaticism stop on the field or on the stage or on the pulpit or on the platforms? Why do we pursue after people who just want some privacy when not working? Why do we clean out their closets for them?

Please share own thoughts on this contradictory topic.

Google: Friend or Foe?

I don’t like Google! It’s that simple! I have always sparred with my brother and a few friends as to how aggressive I think they are in their expansion pursuits. But it’s always about the fact that their products are very functional, but I always wondered how they went from search engine on this apparent journey to world power! Even people gave them free promotion with the common phrase “Go ask Google”.

I should state here that I use an android and opened a Gmail when I got it. It also came with a YouTube and Google+ accounts which I don’t  actively use. I just wonder how they can be curbed from their rapid growth. Don’t get me wrong, I value their functionality and admit their products are an essential aspect of life as it is but there are other concerns apart from these facts. Apart from some articles I read on their acquisition of a robotics company and work with the U.S. Army, I never had facts to use. Well I did find a detailed article on the issue and thought to share. Do you think they are friends, potential foes or what? Do read the article in the link and share your thoughts. Thanks.

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-information-google-is-gathering-about-us-is-terrifying-2014-6

Nigeria and her Music, Two of a kind

“…nowadays nobody speaks about, the way they feel about things…and nowadays nobody thinks about a way to ease the suffering”, lyrics from Lighthouse family’s 1998 single “Question of faith”. Lyrics that still ring true till this day, talk about ever green. Or is it Nneka’s 2005 single from her EP of the same name, The Uncomfortable Truth, where she sings “Let us make a change, why can’t we turn the page, Lord make us able, without you we are totally unstable”. I suppose we might also consider Sade’s “Sweetest taboo”, Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose”, Asa’s “Jailer” or the numerous works of Fela. Music by Nigerians, either in terms of lyrics, composition, vocals or production has always been beautiful especially when fostered in an enabling environment. By music I mean songs that are not just songs but are songs that are full and by full I mean songs that are timeless, that have essence, moods, life and carry substantial messages. But what do we have today? Bogus monotonic compositions from contemporary artists who possess little or no originality. Talk about originality when an artist writes a song about water and makes it a hit! Fela did!  But we have caricature songs that sample from and were inspired by great artists and then watered down to reduce the concentration of music in it. Danceable, chant able, remixed concepts, money, cars, girls, fame; cliché!

But what’s good for the goose is good for the gander right? At times when I hear stories of “Old Nigeria”, I find it hard to believe how far down the ladder we are. Old folks talk about a time when goods were left outside with prices on them, and people would buy and sell with little or no supervision. They talk about a time when you could leave your house without bothering to lock your doors; they talk about the times when Nigerians abroad could close down malls just to shop. They all seem like fairytales when you come up in a time like this where it’s hard to trust even your own brother. Oil came and we forgot everything else. States queue for their share of the budget and I wonder, what happened to state internal revenue? Why aren’t states responsible for the provision of power? Politicians run the nation as they deem fit without caring to maximise its resources. Along the line someone got greedy and all those that were aware, said nothing and that single seed grew and is still flourishing till today. As your president said, Nigeria is not poor; our problem is in the distribution of wealth.

A lot of the time I relate the state of Nigeria to its music. Are they not a matching pair? Nigeria’s main source of revenue is from Oil, the main genre of music is “Afrobeat” or “Afro-pop” or whatever you call it. Ever heard people say a certain thing would not work in Nigeria, say a new law that is standard in a lot of places around the world because it doesn’t fit us here? Ever heard a Nigerian say a song is good and they like it just that the person won’t sell here? Why won’t the new law work if they decide to follow it and encourage others? Why won’t that “good” artist sell if they decide to purchase good music and spread the word?

Nigeria is blessed with various resources, every type you can think of, but we don’t invest in minds, don’t invest in research, won’t actively use our steel or other mineral resources, won’t invest in renewable energy , won’t invest in agriculture and tourism or any other resource as we should. Why aren’t we producing when we have the capacity to do so? Why do foreigners have to make those investments? We have narrowed it down to crude oil and that’s that! Why don’t we have more genres? Soul? Rock? House? Alternative? I mean we listen to songs like that from foreign artists, why not encourage our local artists to be diverse? Why don’t we have more clearly defined genres as opposed to diluting everything with “Afrobeat”? Why isn’t afrobeat, our very own internationally recognised genre, on the radio? Why do Femi and Seun Kuti release their albums outside Nigeria? Why should foreigners get to listen to them and not us?

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The giant of Africa? Sure! In retrospect! We just talk in this country, but no truth or action in those words. Everyone has the solution to the problem but somehow the problem persists. Could it be because we don’t do accordingly? I mean we have a rich proverbial history but somehow we don’t update and apply it. Where are our poets? Where is our art? Where is our history written so we don’t forget? Who reveals the truth of the past and the lessons we must learn from them? But our music is better! Introspective and intellectual, you can learn from it. It takes you away and addresses your mood. If you are feeling sad, you have a companion! Heartbroken? You have something soothing. Afraid? You have something motivational. Calm? You have something down tempo. But alas I lie! The artist said he is inspired by life? He lies as well! The words in most songs are just empty, improvised with no particular direction? Where are the concepts? The structure? The vision? The passion? The talent? The words? Life? But then I suppose my life is a boring one, as that of a lot of the others seems to consist primarily of money, women, cars, parties, alcohol and the likes.

Politicians can bring ridiculous laws and implement it without even a cough from us, no wonder they ridicule us. How does a human use billions to maintain 2 private jets while the masses lack education and the basic amenities? How does a leader seek pay after public office without considering the repercussion on his state’s treasury? Oh but leadership is the new royalty hence we call them “your Excellency” and make no complains! Creativity is when you can form words from nothing in particular that elicits excitement from people who are looking for an escape from their hardships. Creative licence is when an artist can say “In the middle of the center” and come off appraised. No well crafted verses, no content, no figures of speech, just chants. Well as Modenine said on his 2008 song “Hip Hop “, “I mean it when I say your whole album is a chorus”.

Nigeria is a country with so much potential. With the developing countries slowing down, we should lead Africa in the race to catch up and even exceed what has been done but we have decided to operate at 10% efficiency, or do you estimate it’s less? Our crops and culture is being stolen from right under us and we could care less. It’s our way of doing things and however wrong it is, we hold steadfast to it. Talk about dedication to destruction. But music is life, and when I see Nigeria, I see its music, and I wonder if we really are alive? How many people really learnt from Fela? How many people really learnt from Onyeka Onwenu?

Sigh, would I sound like a conspiracy theorist if I propose that Nigerian music might be fashioned to keep us dumbed down? A means to help us be consoled in our misery while the elites plunder our resources? After all a documentary I saw recently said the system of the world is made by the rich for the rich. But hey! Maybe things are getting better, at least on the BRT buses, it’s usually not the case of “49 sitting, 99 standing” as Fela sang. What do you think?

Why assume? Just ask!

(So he thought Musa won’t tell me abi?)

(I bet he doesn’t know that it’s not how long but how well)

(He doesn’t know Musa is closer to me)

(How dare he go behind my back and discuss our little disagreement with Musa of all people!)

(He had the audacity to say bad things about me to someone unimportant)

(It’s my fault, I have been nice hence him taking me for granted)

(Anyway he would soon be here)

(I would see how he would wriggle out of this one)

 

Few minutes later…

“Hello Ronke”

Silence…

“Ronke, hi”

Silence…

(She seems rather deep in thought, I hope all is well)

(Or could it be because of our recent misunderstanding?)

Slight tap on her shoulder…

“Ronke are you alright?”

“I’m fine”

“You seemed lost in thought, is everything alright?”

Raises voice slightly…

“I said I’m fine!”

“I heard you it’s just that I know you well enough to know when something is wrong”

(Ehen? See me see trouble o, is it by force?)

“But I have said nothing is wrong, or do you want something bad to happen?”

“No! It’s just; is this about our recent misunderstanding?”

“What about it? Please it’s too small an issue to fuss over”

 

(Hmmm I’m confused)

(If she is not upset about it then what could be the issue and why is she refusing to say?)

(Well when she is ready to talk she will)

(I came here to relax and I won’t let anyone spoil my fun)

“Its fine, let me go say hi to the other people, just thought to check on you first”

Silence…

He leaves to chat up other people at the get together…

(If you like don’t check on me at all, you haven’t seen anything yet, good riddance!)

 

The two spend the rest of the night mingling with friends but never each other

Ronke leaves unusually early to avoid Chike talking to her again

Chike notices this few minutes later and concludes it was because of him she left

He is upset that she is blowing the little matter out of proportion

He decides he won’t call her till she makes first contact and apologises for her behaviour

She waits for him to come over and beg her to tell him what’s wrong

The two don’t speak for the next few days

They don’t speak the next few weeks

They don’t speak for a couple of months…

 

The two ultimately get busy and forget about each other, getting lost in the works of life…

A few years later they meet at a function

Each tries to remember why they stopped talking but can’t seem to

Regardless they still feel upset and neither talks to the other

They both leave the function with nostalgia

They both go on to lead separate lives each remembering the other every now and then…

 

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It’s often said that the person who cares less has the power in the relationship. This mind set has led a lot of emotional people to be conscious about their relationships. They magnify every little detail in order to protect themselves and thus they end up making assumptions. These assumptions usually grow into something bizarre and when fuelled by emotions, the individual begins to believe these cooked up thoughts to the point of searching for evidence to support their made up theories which eventually may become their reality. As blunt as it may sound, this in fact is not too far from an episodic psychosis.

Remember, every wildfire starts from a little spark. In a time where the trend is to tell people what they want to hear regardless of its substance of truth, people often build on assumptions just for it all to collapse on the foundation of deceit. They then take those failures into other relationships. Sadly, this often puts them in a situation where they might mess up something good by applying the lessons they learnt from something bad.

“Assumption is the mother of all screw ups”

Simply put, DON’T make assumptions. Just ask! It might be your fault, the other person’s fault, either your faults or even a simple misunderstanding but only speaking up would clear that up.

If only Ronke swallowed her pride and spoke up, maybe they would have had reparation and held on to their friendship.

Here’s your proof

Do you believe in a higher being? Yes? No? Undecided? I totally get you. As I stated in a preceding post, Here’s your sign, the basis of Christianity is on faith which in itself isn’t a logical thing. So logically, any approach to it from the point of logic is illogical in itself. A while back, in a discussion with a friend on some tough recruitment questions from some of the world’s biggest firms, the question ‘Do you believe in a higher power?’ came up. Playing on the pun ‘higher power’, I applied mathematics to it and without a definite end in mind I ended up answering him.

What’s 2^2?

The answer is 4 right?

Correct!

What’s 4^3?

64 right?

Good!

Now what’s ∞^∞?

Yes?

I’m all ears?

Did I hear you say ∞?

No!

Did I hear you say ∞^∞?

No!

I want a numerical solution as in the earlier questions.

Any answers?

No uh? 😦

I thought so.

Life is beautiful in that at times the answer we seek is staring us right in the face and yet we are blinded to them.

The answer is that God is infinite.

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And so is His love.

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Just as we can never put a numerical value to ∞ or ∞^∞ as they are both indefinite terms, we can never truly put a definition to God. We refer to ourselves as the one, four times a lady, the cat with nine lives and so on, but who really can plainly state an aspect of their lives that is infinite without it being limited by time, space and resources? If we as humans are numbers with absolute values it would be plausible to take it that God is quantifiable to ∞. Why would we believe that infinity is allowed in mathematics only but can’t be applied to other aspects of knowledge? I believe this is an applicable theory in explaining the relationship between God and humans. Agree? Disagree? Do let me know. 🙂