Thoughts: The Domino Effect

One of the worst things is working all your life and not having a plan for when you retire. Recently someone told me of someone who worked in a power station where there was constant electricity supply and security. After he retired, he had to move out and it took him about 2 or 3 years to adapt to life outside his comfort zone. Today I see a lot of changes going on in society and I wonder, where is all this leading to? Are we making changes just because we can or is there something specific we are working towards?

Recently in America the gay marriage law was passed. Finally ‘sense’ prevailed that all forms of love should be treated equally and given the same rights. It started with talking about it, broadcasting it, gradually desensitising the general public till people started to be indifferent, and then sympathetic and finally supportive. Well what is done is done, it was only a matter of time after all persistence pays. But then I’ve got to ask, what next?

What other ‘forms’ of love are we discriminating against? What other groups of people are being suppressed? What other things that would be classified as a sickness centuries ago is to be normalised today? Well maybe not today per say, say in a couple of years’ time?

domino effect

The basic thought behind the homosexual philosophy is that love cannot be limited and that people have no control over whom they love and should not be forced to love the opposite sex if they lack the ability to. This is what society has tried to force down their throats with things like lesbians being raped as a ‘corrective’ measure. Why would a man pursue a relationship with a woman when he is clearly not attracted to her and vice versa? Why should a person who is clearly not attracted to a person above the legal age be forced to pursue a relationship when they’re clearly not attracted to them and vice versa?

It used to be unheard of that a woman would date or marry a man many years her junior, but that’s obtainable today because change is the only constant thing. So why would a young boy who desires a relationship with his teacher  be denied it or a man who desires a 13 year old girl around his neighbourhood be denied his one ‘true’ love?

An elder once said they weren’t exposed to sex till they were well in their 20s, but they were heavily disadvantaged. If only they knew sex sells! Let’s face it, the ‘kids’ of today get a serious head start on this issue of sex most knowing intimate details before they are teenagers. I recall a story of a girl who delivered at 13 having been impregnated by a boy who wasn’t anymore older than herself!

So wait! Kids are having sex in their teenage years, drinking, living unsupervised lives because their parents have to work and someway somehow they aren’t allowed to be attracted to people who are above a certain age limit? Ok that might be too much, let me take a detour…

I read an article where a woman happen to take her children to what was meant to be a children’s. You really should read the full story here. The summary goes that the children were dressed in bum shorts, alter necks, cut-off jeans and the likes. She noted as well that the 4 to 6 year olds at the said party danced provocatively to songs way above their censorship level. The children who were ‘behind the times’ were voted out as the others ‘twerked’ and did ‘gangsta’ moves. I myself recall over ten years ago where I was at the mall with my family and my father happened to drop his mouth open. We looked along his line of vision only to see a little girl dressed in a short skirt with her a top that had her back open. She looked no more than 3 years of age.

The article further gives instances of when little children were made up as if they were adults, she concluded by asking why, with the rising rate in child molestation, would parents decide to sexualise their kids by exposing them to things they shouldn’t be exposed to at their age.

My point? There are people out there who cannot fathom a functional relationship with a fully developed adult, they rather just have kids! Sick right? Well who are we to say? A man desiring a man was sick, now it’s cute! Children are getting sexually active a lot earlier simply because of their exposure and parents aren’t helping at all with what we expose our children to. I have seen guys my age look at teenage girls with lustful eyes, and it seems ‘alright’ because most assume those teenage girls are sexually active already. We’ve heard of teachers having sexual relationships with their students, sometimes voluntarily other times not. So what’s left? All it takes is a coalition of paedophiles to request their type of love isn’t a sickness. All it takes is the help of the trusty media to help desensitize the public. All it takes is yearly walks by the paedophile bodies yearly to let the public know they exist and do not want to have to keep hiding their love! All it takes is a decade or 2 till our kids have a right to love whomever they love regardless of their age. After all age is nothing but a number.


My question is simple, where do we draw the line?

We Christians failed to be the light of the world by being faithful and upholding the virtues of the marriage institution. We departed from God’s plan for the community based on His instructions for the family. And so based on the fact we are living in sin, those who would ordinarily have the cause to live in shame, now feel the need and want to be open about it.

So a black man wants equal rights, the albinos deserve the same too and so do the disabled members of society. But must it end there? Nope, if a man and a woman can get married, then two men or two women should be able to do the same if they ‘truly’ love each other. So why should a grown man live in shame because of the ‘true’ love he has for a willing young lad or lass? I mean there was a case of a teacher who had a sexual relationship with her student and after her prison time, the lad had aged above the legal age and he continued his relationship with her! Isn’t that a sign love endures?

The world never learns from history, our drive for development is partially fuelled by our desire to do what we want as individuals and not necessarily what is for the public good, we live for the day and disregard the domino effect of what today’s decision could bring.

Are you ok with your child having a relationship with a fully developed adult? No? Well give it time, all it takes is time. Either take a stand today or go along with whatever comes along tomorrow. Your choice! My view on the gay marriage was addressed here and I’m unrepentantly of the opinion our kids should be allowed to live each stage of their lives as is appropriate and not allowed to grow before they should. Protect the children! Let their innocence last as long as it can before the world takes it from them!


Act now or wait till they are at your doorstep

This morning my brother sent me a link:

I was sad; because this is the umpteenth time the president had made a statement that made me ask “Is this the sort of mentality Nigeria needs at this time from its leader?”

“Is this the type of mentality that would lead a conclusive effort against the accurate and effective organisation of boko haram?”

I did mention in my note, the red pill or the blue pill, that if we keep ignoring it and acting like it doesn’t concern us they would make their way down south and a friend happened to send me this just this morning:

Why do we let our comfort, freedom and seeming safety dumb us down as we underestimate the very thing that will take away those very things we hold so dearly?

Do we really need them to attack and cause grieving families here in the south before we act? Do we as collective Nigerians not feel the pain and loss of several families in the last 5 years?

5 years!!!

Yes it’s been 5 sad years and we still haven’t learnt, we still haven’t washed our eyes clean to see all the blood and tears that’s been flowing. We still don’t know the severity, wickedness and future implications of the past and present happenings in this country.

One of our problems in this country is that we run from our grim history which we should have learnt from and don’t bother about the future which we think our “hope” will sort out. E go better! Yimz! Sure, the present is a present but what happens when all that chocolate leaves no teeth left to eat with tomorrow? Our spur of the moment decision making without a consideration for the apparent consequences is what has brought us so far!

So you are learned right? Have had some form of education right? So why don’t you learn? Your job, phone, car and “life” would be “over” if places in the south started going up in flames!

You are smart right? So what’s the solution?

From a broad perspective we have two options, we separate from the north so the “new owners” can do what they want with it, which is unlikely or we fight for Nigeria which was foisted on us from the start. The unlikely combination of the parts that make up Nigeria along with our reluctance to address the errors in our history is STILL the foundation of this problem.

From all indications our leadership and military, those who readily oppress civilians, are not going to help us out here. They just will help our taxes get spent and protect their own families. What else would people who oppress those who pay for their lively hood do? Unlike the police and military in some foreign countries that are educated enough to know when not to choose between the leaders they are sworn to and the people they have sworn to protect, our security agencies are sworn to themselves.

What if it isn’t just political? What if after the elections the activities continue? What then? It does look like the crescendo we all expect to precede a calm. But it’s been 5 years and it seems to be moving up, what’s the assurance there would be calm after? The fact is we are shrouded in ignorance and we aren’t doing anything to reduce that. No wonder it is said that ignorance is bliss.

So what solution do you propose and what would be the form of cohesion? Or would you rather live your life of comfort till they are at your doorstep?

Kindly share your thoughts and this post as well. Thanks.

Happy People

…and R. Kelly sings: Happy people, yeah yeah yeah, keep the world, turning turning turning, I believe that, happy people, yeah yeah yeah, keep the world, dancing dancing dancing…and then with the end of the song comes the dance, do you remember? Step to the left, step to the right, stand around and break it down tonight, bring it on up, move in close…*record scratches*…err sorry to cut you off like that but couples dancing isn’t the subject of today’s post, atleast not those types.

My favourite saying applies a great deal in this issue, “Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power”. I remember as a child, the concept of homosexuality was foreign, it wasn’t something we children knew or spake about. Playing ‘mummy and daddy’ and being teased by friends about girls they assumed or knew we liked was natural. Except for a few isolated cases where there was a reference to it or an occurence that seemed like a bizzare exception, it wasn’t talked about. All of a sudden it was everywhere! In everyday secondary school conversations, in jokes, in disses and so on. It grew in consciousness and gradually went public, such that it finally had to be recognised by law. Gay people or ‘Happy’ people started requesting for their rights in public after being more or less in the background for centuries.

Liberalism, as everything else has its advantages and disadvantages. From a liberal point of view anyone can say and do whatever they desire but not when marriage comes in. Now marriage has always included God, and thus it would be weird if I spoke about it from a liberal point of view. Civil union has been something they used but that’s not enough, every gay boy has always dreamt of his own white wedding, to the man he ‘loves’, in the church daddy and daddy got married in. Oh well this is what the bible says about that:

Lev 18:22
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. (ESV)

Lev 20:13
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. (ESV)

Romans 21-32
For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. (ESV)

The above texts are from the old and new testament. Verses 26, 27 and 32 are of particular interest. It’s clear that God is clear on this issue, those who practice and those who give approval to them that do. So what do I think?

If I saw a group of Christians running after a gay person to assault or murder them, would I join them? No because that’s in the old testament and a lot of those don’t apply today. Do I support gay marriage? No. If a gay person asked me if that way of life is right would I reply in the affirmative?  No. Do I think gay couples should adopt children? No. Why not? I believe God gave us free will and so if gay people want to have sex in their privacy then that’s their decision as God isn’t in support of premarital sex and a lot of us engage in it. So if we use our freewill to sin against God then I feel we shouldn’t point fingers. Whatever decisions they make is between them and God, and only He can judge. However, I don’t support their marriage especially NOT in a church of God. Again I quote Myles Monroe “Every problem in the society can be traced back to the family”. God made a system of family where the father and mother have a blessed union and produce children who are raised with the love of God and who are given an identity and where there are no kids, the adopted children should be raised by a father and mother. With the increase in divorce rates, increase in the number of single parents, reducing number of hours career parents spend with their children in a week, I think it would be a step further in the wrong direction for children to be raised in a home with ‘parents’ of the same sex.

I’m of the opinion that we should focus our attenion on returning to the core values that now only exist in storybooks and build our families the way it was intended. The institution of marriage which has been ridiculously abused needs to be placed back on the pedestal where it should be. In the beginning God saw Adam was alone and He made a woman from and for him. Simple! Let’s all get back to the only functional plan for society so that we can all live under the blessings of God as happy people.

Speak Out

So it’s about 10pm and I’m to call someone. Tried a couple of times but it turns out they fell asleep. Smh. Giving a limited time for them to call back I decided to listen to the radio while gaming. A night show with N6 and Joy of Cool FM was on and I got stuck all the way till 1am. I have missed night radio I must confess especially on those nights I was up late and had the silence to accompany my drab lab reports.

So there were several calls and some bewildering stories like the chick whose friend took her where her fiancé was squashing her mum’s 49 year old friend or the bathing girl who washed her face clean just to see a married man looking at her and then he gave her a thumb up. Or the story of a working class guy who streaked for 5k along a popular road at night. LOL. Between the laughs and solemn talks it was all quaint.

But the story that really caught my attention was that of a girl who got a ride from a co-worker who raped her not once but five times. L. That’s just the coldest. It’s every girl’s nightmare just as it is every guy’s to end up in prison with some huge scoundrel. *shrugs*. Imagine you, new job, great colleagues, you’re really excited and then someday one of them decides to give you a lift and then he takes you and … no one sees that coming. But it does happen, even though it may not be in the same form.

We live in this age where sex is everywhere! We couldn’t escape it if we tried. We can only minimize its effects if we cared to. A lot of us don’t get introduced to it the right way and just as everything else we are ignorant of, we tend to abuse it.”Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions” -Oliver Wendell Holmes. Thereby people develop all sorts of habits from the mild perversions to utter debauchery. I don’t support prostitution but then just as some callers suggested, a working class guy like himself could easily afford those who would even go beyond 5 rounds. Then why make a non-consenting adult go through that trauma?

Before we go pointing fingers here, it’s not always that simple. Besides consensual sex, there are other scenarios. Sex is like a slope, one just keeps sliding down once they start skating. It’s all a question of where you set the limit and if the other person respects it because in an instant all the lines get blurred and ‘boundaries’ are crossed. You want just a kiss and then he reaches for the twins, a case where the occasional make out session goes wrong and today he isn’t turning back at the gate, ‘just a visit’ and you’re begging for mercy, a last minute change of heart but he won’t have none of that and so on.

These are things that happen around and only a few of them get out. Like recently in the newspaper where a man impregnated two of his daughters and got caught when trying to sleep with the third. How many people have gone through these things and had to keep it to themselves? When is it going to stop? In the old days when this happens to a girl, a stigma is attached to her, now that we are better educated have we grown from that? A lot of people are traumatised from these incidents and they only keep it to themselves, they don’t get treatment or adequate attention to heal and recover from the psychological effect this brings to them. A lot of them go around feeling all is well while they are still suffering from the side effects.

My opinion is that women should speak out. It’s very important they do and look out for themselves and their children. A huge percentage of rape cases or assault is done by close persons, from families to friends and associates. This means women have to be extra careful with whom they trust. Men also have to realise that women are our mothers, our sisters and friends and they must hold some kind of self-restraint even if we are in a world where the unrealistic mindset is to do whatever makes you happy. A lot of things around here are allowed to pass by with us saying “What has happened has happened”, it’s time we put a stop to it.

Ergo, as you ladies sing Aretha Franklin’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T, demand it by the way you live, meaning what you say and voicing out your opinions and your hurt. The lady that took her friend to where her fiancé was cheating on her did something rare. Not everyone can say that because we are all scared of being put in the middle and ending up with the blame. As lighthouse family say in their song “Question of Faith”, “Nowadays nobody speaks about, the way they feel about things”. This is a problem and the first step to solving it is speaking out, from the heart where it hurts the most.

She has to grow some balls

I wake up Friday morning to a message from my brother. The president had relinquished his ill-advised resolution to rename the University of Lagos. The elating news made my day instantaneously. It had been nearly a year since he made that pontificating pronouncement. Whew!!!

Variety is the spice of life and as a Nigerian it is envisaged this would taste sour in some mouths while others would feel indifferent. These arrays of individuals are mostly sentimental people while others I believe mostly haven’t captured the big picture. Why am I in a state of euphoria? I’d try to make my points concise. I’m convinced there are two ideal ways to honour or immortalise the late M.K.O.

Firstly, justice must be served in his killing and that of his wife, Kudirat. The justice system is yet to bring a definitive end to the cases surrounding these murders. His death has been claimed for years to be as result of his battle for democracy. With nearly 14 years of democracy why hasn’t his assailants and that of his wife been brought to book? Now that’s honouring his memory. Secondly, as he is said to be a martyr of democracy, why doesn’t it feel like we are in one? Practicing democracy, isn’t that the best way to give accolades to his efforts? Those are the only genuine ways we can reverence his legacy, every other gesture is secondary and invalid until these prerequisites have been executed.


Accessory to the above points is his timing. For a man who seems imperceptive to his electorates the most affronting thing was to make such an announcement during the university’s mourning period for their late vice chancellor. Amongst the arguments, the constant statements that surfaced were “Isn’t Abiola’s legacy enough to warrant the name change?”, “The students don’t know what Abiola did for the country”, “Isn’t Unilag just a name?” and “Don’t these students have books to read” and so on. Sentiments! All sentiments I tell you. When people make statements like that, I mentally imagine them in a wheelchair. Spineless! If their minds functioned at all, educated or not, they’d align all the facts pertinent to the circumstance before uttering their sentimental positions. The source of a problem is often the best place to start and not its consequence. What are the motives for the gesture? If the celebration of democracy is the aim, then why FORCE a decision on unwilling participants? Why use an established body as a foundation for a monument? Where is the creativity?

As someone on a news site commented “The name change doesn’t sound so bad until you wake up one day and realise your name has been changed, without your permission”.

In a country whose educational sector is lacking greatly, even the educated among us are flawed greatly in comparison with our foreign counterparts around the world. We can’t fight so much as it is obvious even our lecturer’s constant strikes don’t count for much in this country. As the “leaders of tomorrow”, if the current ones would ever vacate their positions, and as products of the society, why can’t the other members of our society have faith that our decisions are primarily intellectual as opposed to sentiments since they are the ones that work hard to send us to school? Do they believe our education is a waste of time? Why do they believe we should be STUDYING instead of PRACTICING the rights we have been educated on? When companies spend enormous amounts of money on their brands why can’t we indicate our displeasure at the aesthetically unpleasant name we had been given which would cost a lot to implement? When that amount of money could be used to pacify the lecturers and reduce the recurrent strikes?

The students and authority put their foot down and got things done right as regards the university, not much can be said for M.K.O’s legacy. I hope the broad learns from this. Pardon my French but that’s how any man who loves a beautiful, budding, brainy lady who is ignorant of her value, would react when he sees her whoring herself around. I quote Fela “If you call am woman, African woman no go gree, she go say I be lady o” and Lupe “B**** bad, woman good, lady better, they misunderstood”. This bad b**** needs to become a woman and then become a lady and the youth have given a good example. If you want something done well, you’ve got to do it yourself! If our leaders won’t make the right decisions, she’d have to grow some balls and make it herself, literarily speaking of course.

The above was to be posted yesterday, Saturday, but it wasn’t possible. Sunday morning and I glance at Saturday’s Punch newspaper and see on the front page “UNILAG REMAINS MAULAG – FG”. The Federal Ministry of Education refuted the reports. Just when I thought we had taken a step in the right direction. Oh well, the battle is still on and I pray we win! We need the motivation. Still, SHE has to grow some balls.


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