Thoughts: The Domino Effect

One of the worst things is working all your life and not having a plan for when you retire. Recently someone told me of someone who worked in a power station where there was constant electricity supply and security. After he retired, he had to move out and it took him about 2 or 3 years to adapt to life outside his comfort zone. Today I see a lot of changes going on in society and I wonder, where is all this leading to? Are we making changes just because we can or is there something specific we are working towards?

Recently in America the gay marriage law was passed. Finally ‘sense’ prevailed that all forms of love should be treated equally and given the same rights. It started with talking about it, broadcasting it, gradually desensitising the general public till people started to be indifferent, and then sympathetic and finally supportive. Well what is done is done, it was only a matter of time after all persistence pays. But then I’ve got to ask, what next?

What other ‘forms’ of love are we discriminating against? What other groups of people are being suppressed? What other things that would be classified as a sickness centuries ago is to be normalised today? Well maybe not today per say, say in a couple of years’ time?

domino effect

The basic thought behind the homosexual philosophy is that love cannot be limited and that people have no control over whom they love and should not be forced to love the opposite sex if they lack the ability to. This is what society has tried to force down their throats with things like lesbians being raped as a ‘corrective’ measure. Why would a man pursue a relationship with a woman when he is clearly not attracted to her and vice versa? Why should a person who is clearly not attracted to a person above the legal age be forced to pursue a relationship when they’re clearly not attracted to them and vice versa?

It used to be unheard of that a woman would date or marry a man many years her junior, but that’s obtainable today because change is the only constant thing. So why would a young boy who desires a relationship with his teacher  be denied it or a man who desires a 13 year old girl around his neighbourhood be denied his one ‘true’ love?

An elder once said they weren’t exposed to sex till they were well in their 20s, but they were heavily disadvantaged. If only they knew sex sells! Let’s face it, the ‘kids’ of today get a serious head start on this issue of sex most knowing intimate details before they are teenagers. I recall a story of a girl who delivered at 13 having been impregnated by a boy who wasn’t anymore older than herself!

So wait! Kids are having sex in their teenage years, drinking, living unsupervised lives because their parents have to work and someway somehow they aren’t allowed to be attracted to people who are above a certain age limit? Ok that might be too much, let me take a detour…

I read an article where a woman happen to take her children to what was meant to be a children’s. You really should read the full story here. The summary goes that the children were dressed in bum shorts, alter necks, cut-off jeans and the likes. She noted as well that the 4 to 6 year olds at the said party danced provocatively to songs way above their censorship level. The children who were ‘behind the times’ were voted out as the others ‘twerked’ and did ‘gangsta’ moves. I myself recall over ten years ago where I was at the mall with my family and my father happened to drop his mouth open. We looked along his line of vision only to see a little girl dressed in a short skirt with her a top that had her back open. She looked no more than 3 years of age.

The article further gives instances of when little children were made up as if they were adults, she concluded by asking why, with the rising rate in child molestation, would parents decide to sexualise their kids by exposing them to things they shouldn’t be exposed to at their age.

My point? There are people out there who cannot fathom a functional relationship with a fully developed adult, they rather just have kids! Sick right? Well who are we to say? A man desiring a man was sick, now it’s cute! Children are getting sexually active a lot earlier simply because of their exposure and parents aren’t helping at all with what we expose our children to. I have seen guys my age look at teenage girls with lustful eyes, and it seems ‘alright’ because most assume those teenage girls are sexually active already. We’ve heard of teachers having sexual relationships with their students, sometimes voluntarily other times not. So what’s left? All it takes is a coalition of paedophiles to request their type of love isn’t a sickness. All it takes is the help of the trusty media to help desensitize the public. All it takes is yearly walks by the paedophile bodies yearly to let the public know they exist and do not want to have to keep hiding their love! All it takes is a decade or 2 till our kids have a right to love whomever they love regardless of their age. After all age is nothing but a number.

karma...stop

My question is simple, where do we draw the line?

We Christians failed to be the light of the world by being faithful and upholding the virtues of the marriage institution. We departed from God’s plan for the community based on His instructions for the family. And so based on the fact we are living in sin, those who would ordinarily have the cause to live in shame, now feel the need and want to be open about it.

So a black man wants equal rights, the albinos deserve the same too and so do the disabled members of society. But must it end there? Nope, if a man and a woman can get married, then two men or two women should be able to do the same if they ‘truly’ love each other. So why should a grown man live in shame because of the ‘true’ love he has for a willing young lad or lass? I mean there was a case of a teacher who had a sexual relationship with her student and after her prison time, the lad had aged above the legal age and he continued his relationship with her! Isn’t that a sign love endures?

The world never learns from history, our drive for development is partially fuelled by our desire to do what we want as individuals and not necessarily what is for the public good, we live for the day and disregard the domino effect of what today’s decision could bring.

Are you ok with your child having a relationship with a fully developed adult? No? Well give it time, all it takes is time. Either take a stand today or go along with whatever comes along tomorrow. Your choice! My view on the gay marriage was addressed here and I’m unrepentantly of the opinion our kids should be allowed to live each stage of their lives as is appropriate and not allowed to grow before they should. Protect the children! Let their innocence last as long as it can before the world takes it from them!

Happy People

…and R. Kelly sings: Happy people, yeah yeah yeah, keep the world, turning turning turning, I believe that, happy people, yeah yeah yeah, keep the world, dancing dancing dancing…and then with the end of the song comes the dance, do you remember? Step to the left, step to the right, stand around and break it down tonight, bring it on up, move in close…*record scratches*…err sorry to cut you off like that but couples dancing isn’t the subject of today’s post, atleast not those types.

My favourite saying applies a great deal in this issue, “Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power”. I remember as a child, the concept of homosexuality was foreign, it wasn’t something we children knew or spake about. Playing ‘mummy and daddy’ and being teased by friends about girls they assumed or knew we liked was natural. Except for a few isolated cases where there was a reference to it or an occurence that seemed like a bizzare exception, it wasn’t talked about. All of a sudden it was everywhere! In everyday secondary school conversations, in jokes, in disses and so on. It grew in consciousness and gradually went public, such that it finally had to be recognised by law. Gay people or ‘Happy’ people started requesting for their rights in public after being more or less in the background for centuries.

Liberalism, as everything else has its advantages and disadvantages. From a liberal point of view anyone can say and do whatever they desire but not when marriage comes in. Now marriage has always included God, and thus it would be weird if I spoke about it from a liberal point of view. Civil union has been something they used but that’s not enough, every gay boy has always dreamt of his own white wedding, to the man he ‘loves’, in the church daddy and daddy got married in. Oh well this is what the bible says about that:

Lev 18:22
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. (ESV)

Lev 20:13
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. (ESV)

Romans 21-32
For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. (ESV)

The above texts are from the old and new testament. Verses 26, 27 and 32 are of particular interest. It’s clear that God is clear on this issue, those who practice and those who give approval to them that do. So what do I think?

If I saw a group of Christians running after a gay person to assault or murder them, would I join them? No because that’s in the old testament and a lot of those don’t apply today. Do I support gay marriage? No. If a gay person asked me if that way of life is right would I reply in the affirmative?  No. Do I think gay couples should adopt children? No. Why not? I believe God gave us free will and so if gay people want to have sex in their privacy then that’s their decision as God isn’t in support of premarital sex and a lot of us engage in it. So if we use our freewill to sin against God then I feel we shouldn’t point fingers. Whatever decisions they make is between them and God, and only He can judge. However, I don’t support their marriage especially NOT in a church of God. Again I quote Myles Monroe “Every problem in the society can be traced back to the family”. God made a system of family where the father and mother have a blessed union and produce children who are raised with the love of God and who are given an identity and where there are no kids, the adopted children should be raised by a father and mother. With the increase in divorce rates, increase in the number of single parents, reducing number of hours career parents spend with their children in a week, I think it would be a step further in the wrong direction for children to be raised in a home with ‘parents’ of the same sex.

I’m of the opinion that we should focus our attenion on returning to the core values that now only exist in storybooks and build our families the way it was intended. The institution of marriage which has been ridiculously abused needs to be placed back on the pedestal where it should be. In the beginning God saw Adam was alone and He made a woman from and for him. Simple! Let’s all get back to the only functional plan for society so that we can all live under the blessings of God as happy people.

Speak Out

So it’s about 10pm and I’m to call someone. Tried a couple of times but it turns out they fell asleep. Smh. Giving a limited time for them to call back I decided to listen to the radio while gaming. A night show with N6 and Joy of Cool FM was on and I got stuck all the way till 1am. I have missed night radio I must confess especially on those nights I was up late and had the silence to accompany my drab lab reports.

So there were several calls and some bewildering stories like the chick whose friend took her where her fiancé was squashing her mum’s 49 year old friend or the bathing girl who washed her face clean just to see a married man looking at her and then he gave her a thumb up. Or the story of a working class guy who streaked for 5k along a popular road at night. LOL. Between the laughs and solemn talks it was all quaint.

But the story that really caught my attention was that of a girl who got a ride from a co-worker who raped her not once but five times. L. That’s just the coldest. It’s every girl’s nightmare just as it is every guy’s to end up in prison with some huge scoundrel. *shrugs*. Imagine you, new job, great colleagues, you’re really excited and then someday one of them decides to give you a lift and then he takes you and … no one sees that coming. But it does happen, even though it may not be in the same form.

We live in this age where sex is everywhere! We couldn’t escape it if we tried. We can only minimize its effects if we cared to. A lot of us don’t get introduced to it the right way and just as everything else we are ignorant of, we tend to abuse it.”Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions” -Oliver Wendell Holmes. Thereby people develop all sorts of habits from the mild perversions to utter debauchery. I don’t support prostitution but then just as some callers suggested, a working class guy like himself could easily afford those who would even go beyond 5 rounds. Then why make a non-consenting adult go through that trauma?

Before we go pointing fingers here, it’s not always that simple. Besides consensual sex, there are other scenarios. Sex is like a slope, one just keeps sliding down once they start skating. It’s all a question of where you set the limit and if the other person respects it because in an instant all the lines get blurred and ‘boundaries’ are crossed. You want just a kiss and then he reaches for the twins, a case where the occasional make out session goes wrong and today he isn’t turning back at the gate, ‘just a visit’ and you’re begging for mercy, a last minute change of heart but he won’t have none of that and so on.

These are things that happen around and only a few of them get out. Like recently in the newspaper where a man impregnated two of his daughters and got caught when trying to sleep with the third. How many people have gone through these things and had to keep it to themselves? When is it going to stop? In the old days when this happens to a girl, a stigma is attached to her, now that we are better educated have we grown from that? A lot of people are traumatised from these incidents and they only keep it to themselves, they don’t get treatment or adequate attention to heal and recover from the psychological effect this brings to them. A lot of them go around feeling all is well while they are still suffering from the side effects.

My opinion is that women should speak out. It’s very important they do and look out for themselves and their children. A huge percentage of rape cases or assault is done by close persons, from families to friends and associates. This means women have to be extra careful with whom they trust. Men also have to realise that women are our mothers, our sisters and friends and they must hold some kind of self-restraint even if we are in a world where the unrealistic mindset is to do whatever makes you happy. A lot of things around here are allowed to pass by with us saying “What has happened has happened”, it’s time we put a stop to it.

Ergo, as you ladies sing Aretha Franklin’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T, demand it by the way you live, meaning what you say and voicing out your opinions and your hurt. The lady that took her friend to where her fiancé was cheating on her did something rare. Not everyone can say that because we are all scared of being put in the middle and ending up with the blame. As lighthouse family say in their song “Question of Faith”, “Nowadays nobody speaks about, the way they feel about things”. This is a problem and the first step to solving it is speaking out, from the heart where it hurts the most.

We know you would knack tonight!

After being at home a lot over the past 2 months I got to attend my friend’s sister’s wedding. Yay!!! Being an introvert of sort on relapse of recent, it was good to finally go out to a social gathering. Deciding to go with my neighbour who was a mutual friend, he decided we’d go for the reception thereby skipping the church service which was fine by me. I’m a very patient person, as the rule. The exception however is church weddings!!! Oh my! They bore me to death! Even receptions do but with Uno who is a bro from another mother, I was sure I’d stay awake.

All aspects of my elder brother’s wedding took place in one day a few years ago. Last year I was one of the groomsmen for a friend whose wedding was done in a similar manner. Those types of wedding usually takes the whole day and yes I’m happy for them but I get darn bored! The people toasting, the dancing, singing, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera as the king from The King and I would say. I usually find myself walking around, listening to music and basically struggling to pass time. This has often led to mum and I having disagreements as to how my wedding is going to be an exception averse to the regular time consuming galore of activities that obtains in today’s weddings. Yes it might not go down well with HER or HER family, but once SHE is fine with me possibly yawning profusely and/or sleeping off during the church service or reception, they can do whatever they want! Also I’m not going to have the “I’m too tired, I just want to sleep” statement on the first night. That should be reserved, possibly but hopefully never, for the later years of marriage. Hence, weddings should be brief and purposeful in my opinion!

Frankly speaking the title, if you haven’t figured it out by now, comes from the fact that at weddings during these boring periods it does occur to me that these two smiling, giggling, elated people would knack that night! Oh yes! I wonder how they can keep a straight face and smile after giving us a preview (we don’t get to see the movie though) following the preacher saying “you may kiss your bride”. This is the part I always make sure to get a picture of as it seems to be the highlight of the ceremony with people cheering after which there is hardly anything to look forward to. But really how do you sit in front of your friends, family and even her father knowing they all know you would knack that night? I know right? You don’t know how that feels, me neither, as I’m not married. Would I call it karma? Maybe not, but one day it would be my turn and who knows maybe I’d be the only one there conscious of that fact while the guests just focus on taking pictures and filling their bellies.

Interestingly the wedding wasn’t drab as there were people to talk to and it was fun. The lore of single women at weddings wasn’t really present but also wasn’t necessary as I had enough company. Topping it all off was the song “we go celebrate, we go pop champagne”, well there wasn’t champagne but there were hyped-up young ladies who “popped” something and of course young men setting wedding P. Ladies being brought up with their wedding day constantly on their mind, it’s no wonder to see them so happy they having it in mind it would soon be their turn. Well maybe I’m being relieved of my “reaction” to weddings, but next week’s wedding should tell.

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