Thoughts: The Domino Effect

One of the worst things is working all your life and not having a plan for when you retire. Recently someone told me of someone who worked in a power station where there was constant electricity supply and security. After he retired, he had to move out and it took him about 2 or 3 years to adapt to life outside his comfort zone. Today I see a lot of changes going on in society and I wonder, where is all this leading to? Are we making changes just because we can or is there something specific we are working towards?

Recently in America the gay marriage law was passed. Finally ‘sense’ prevailed that all forms of love should be treated equally and given the same rights. It started with talking about it, broadcasting it, gradually desensitising the general public till people started to be indifferent, and then sympathetic and finally supportive. Well what is done is done, it was only a matter of time after all persistence pays. But then I’ve got to ask, what next?

What other ‘forms’ of love are we discriminating against? What other groups of people are being suppressed? What other things that would be classified as a sickness centuries ago is to be normalised today? Well maybe not today per say, say in a couple of years’ time?

domino effect

The basic thought behind the homosexual philosophy is that love cannot be limited and that people have no control over whom they love and should not be forced to love the opposite sex if they lack the ability to. This is what society has tried to force down their throats with things like lesbians being raped as a ‘corrective’ measure. Why would a man pursue a relationship with a woman when he is clearly not attracted to her and vice versa? Why should a person who is clearly not attracted to a person above the legal age be forced to pursue a relationship when they’re clearly not attracted to them and vice versa?

It used to be unheard of that a woman would date or marry a man many years her junior, but that’s obtainable today because change is the only constant thing. So why would a young boy who desires a relationship with his teacher  be denied it or a man who desires a 13 year old girl around his neighbourhood be denied his one ‘true’ love?

An elder once said they weren’t exposed to sex till they were well in their 20s, but they were heavily disadvantaged. If only they knew sex sells! Let’s face it, the ‘kids’ of today get a serious head start on this issue of sex most knowing intimate details before they are teenagers. I recall a story of a girl who delivered at 13 having been impregnated by a boy who wasn’t anymore older than herself!

So wait! Kids are having sex in their teenage years, drinking, living unsupervised lives because their parents have to work and someway somehow they aren’t allowed to be attracted to people who are above a certain age limit? Ok that might be too much, let me take a detour…

I read an article where a woman happen to take her children to what was meant to be a children’s. You really should read the full story here. The summary goes that the children were dressed in bum shorts, alter necks, cut-off jeans and the likes. She noted as well that the 4 to 6 year olds at the said party danced provocatively to songs way above their censorship level. The children who were ‘behind the times’ were voted out as the others ‘twerked’ and did ‘gangsta’ moves. I myself recall over ten years ago where I was at the mall with my family and my father happened to drop his mouth open. We looked along his line of vision only to see a little girl dressed in a short skirt with her a top that had her back open. She looked no more than 3 years of age.

The article further gives instances of when little children were made up as if they were adults, she concluded by asking why, with the rising rate in child molestation, would parents decide to sexualise their kids by exposing them to things they shouldn’t be exposed to at their age.

My point? There are people out there who cannot fathom a functional relationship with a fully developed adult, they rather just have kids! Sick right? Well who are we to say? A man desiring a man was sick, now it’s cute! Children are getting sexually active a lot earlier simply because of their exposure and parents aren’t helping at all with what we expose our children to. I have seen guys my age look at teenage girls with lustful eyes, and it seems ‘alright’ because most assume those teenage girls are sexually active already. We’ve heard of teachers having sexual relationships with their students, sometimes voluntarily other times not. So what’s left? All it takes is a coalition of paedophiles to request their type of love isn’t a sickness. All it takes is the help of the trusty media to help desensitize the public. All it takes is yearly walks by the paedophile bodies yearly to let the public know they exist and do not want to have to keep hiding their love! All it takes is a decade or 2 till our kids have a right to love whomever they love regardless of their age. After all age is nothing but a number.


My question is simple, where do we draw the line?

We Christians failed to be the light of the world by being faithful and upholding the virtues of the marriage institution. We departed from God’s plan for the community based on His instructions for the family. And so based on the fact we are living in sin, those who would ordinarily have the cause to live in shame, now feel the need and want to be open about it.

So a black man wants equal rights, the albinos deserve the same too and so do the disabled members of society. But must it end there? Nope, if a man and a woman can get married, then two men or two women should be able to do the same if they ‘truly’ love each other. So why should a grown man live in shame because of the ‘true’ love he has for a willing young lad or lass? I mean there was a case of a teacher who had a sexual relationship with her student and after her prison time, the lad had aged above the legal age and he continued his relationship with her! Isn’t that a sign love endures?

The world never learns from history, our drive for development is partially fuelled by our desire to do what we want as individuals and not necessarily what is for the public good, we live for the day and disregard the domino effect of what today’s decision could bring.

Are you ok with your child having a relationship with a fully developed adult? No? Well give it time, all it takes is time. Either take a stand today or go along with whatever comes along tomorrow. Your choice! My view on the gay marriage was addressed here and I’m unrepentantly of the opinion our kids should be allowed to live each stage of their lives as is appropriate and not allowed to grow before they should. Protect the children! Let their innocence last as long as it can before the world takes it from them!


God: The Love of the Father

This week’s post is by Sophie who proofreads my blog. Shout out to her!!! Do enjoy and share:

The Lord is mighty and wonderful in His ways 

In The way in which He orchestrates a series of events.

He is perfect in His timing

Never too late and always on time

I have learnt that it is when we find rest in Him that life begins to make sense in the chaos 

It’s such a privilege to know that We have a loving Father who is ever so gracious and merciful

He looks out for His own 

Allows us to experience the pain of life 

But yet causes something beautiful to come out, life anew

For when He has tried us, we will come forth as gold!

So in the pain, in the happiness 

I have joy because the joy of The Lord is my strength 

I take comfort in knowing that He will never leave me nor forsake me

I take my pride in Him 

Allowing His love to pierce through my soul

I honour Him 

Allowing Him to captivate me with His wondrous works

In all things, I surrender all 

With my arms wide open 

No fear, No doubt 

Nothing but trust!

Music: Neo-soul theme of cheating and its consequences

D’angelo – Shit, Damn, Motherfucker (1995)

Why are you sleepin’ with my woman?

Why are you sleepin’ with my woman?

This comes as a total surprise

I just can’t believe my eyes

My best friend and my wife

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Why the both of u’s buck-balled naked?

Why the both of u’s buck-balled naked?

I’m tellin’ you what’s on my mind

I’m ’bout to go get my nine

And kill both of y’all behind

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Why the both of u’s bleeding so much?

Why the both of u’s bleeding so much?

Why the both of u’s bleeding so much?

Why am I wearin’ handcuffs?

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

Shit, Damn, Motherfucker

These lyrics look too short don’t they? Especially when you get to know it’s a little over 5 minutes in length. D’angelo’s neo-soul style has never been one to be filled with words. As a multi-instrumentalist and his own producer, he lets more than his words tell his story. This song never had a video but the lyrics and how it was sung did justice to it.

As always I love to listen to albums just so I can pick out my favourites whether they be the radio-friendly ones or not. On my first listen to his 1995 Brown Sugar, I took a look at his track list and saw a song called Shit, Damn, Motherfucker and wondered why a song title would consist only of profanity. Giving it the benefit of the doubt I listened and its intro is so cool that I got relaxed. After a minute, the story starts and he asks why? His best friend and his wife. His first reaction is Shit as he is bewildered, next is damn! As the scenario hits home. Lastly is Motherfucker as he realises it’s his best friend and his wife committing the act. He says “I’m telling you what’s on my mind, I’m going to go get my nine, and kill y’alls behind” and shortly after he seems to start coming around to his senses as he ask “Why are both of you’s bleeding so much? Why the both of you’s bleeding so much?” Finally he asks “Why am I wearing handcuffs?” and then the chorus again as he realises the implication of what he has done.


The Roots – Break you off ft Musiq Soulchild (2002)

The hook of this song got me first along with the beat, The Roots and Musiq Soulchild delivered a song from the other perspective. Here the artist, Black Thought of The Roots, is the culprit of this same phenomenon. Its video is self-explanatory. Black Thought and Musiq exchange glances as Black Thought arrives. The lady meets him at the door while Musiq’s date arrives. Musiq and the lady exchange glances after his date goes in which could mean a lot, especially that Black Thought wasn’t the first guy she’s cheated with. The action starts in the laundry room and then proceeds to the bedroom. On the way he sees pictures of her and her boyfriend and has a confused look on his face, but she’s at the door to the room and she turns around and it doesn’t matter anymore. Meanwhile Musiq is doing his own thing with ice, honey and strawberries. The boyfriend arrives and opens the door with his own keys and catches them still in the foreplay phase and then makes his presence known. Black Thought pushes her off himself and stands with his hands raised probably trying to say he didn’t know she was taken and he hadn’t done anything yet while the boyfriend reaches for a drawer. The scene changes to Musiq and his girl’s date being interrupted by a loud sound. The scene then moves to the boyfriend in a motel coming out to cops with his hands raised.

Both songs have the same basic theme of being cheated on and taking a repercussive action. Sometimes this involves either or both of the cheaters being injured or killed. Heard of people bathing their lovers with acid? Stabbing another guy or girl with a knife? Makes you wonder why they’d get so mad over ‘just sex’ right? There’s the ideal and the realistic views to why they would do this.

From an ideal, Christian point of view, sex was made by God to consummate marriage which is meant to last as long as one lives. Of course with this kind of lifelong commitment in mind, one can easy bare their all, physically, emotionally and spiritually without feeling fear or insecure knowing fully well they are committed to one another ONLY. This is not a selfish act as the love God preaches is not a selfish one.

Realistically, people just see sex as a thing and want it for different reasons, mostly aside the initial purpose it was invented for. Sex now can be done for different reasons. Fact is that aspect of exclusivity in a relationship is always there because we were made that way. However far we venture, every once in a while we realise we want someone to call our own who will always be there and we won’t have to share with anyone physically, emotionally or spiritually. You wonder at the spiritual aspect? Ever heard a man accuse a pastor of adultery because the pastor and his wife are more spiritually in tune than they are?


Let’s even consider one of the extremes: The term ‘swinger couple’ sounds ironic doesn’t it? It means we don’t have to be sexually exclusive but then no matter whom we experiment with, we still have to come back to each other because we still are emotionally attached and exclusive. We are a ‘couple’, the element of togetherness; but we are allowed to explore whatever fantasies with whomever we choose, the element of liberty. Some even allow their partner to stray only when they choose whom it’s with.

I bet you are thinking this doesn’t apply to you right? You are not that extreme. But still even those who cheat unrepentantly with multiple partners still get livid at the thought of being cheated on. Still some don’t care as they never commit to anyone so they aren’t allowed to catch feelings but still they live with the mind-set that all boys or girls are cheats and as such they don’t trust anyone enough to settle down, something they secretly naturally desire. But then there is progress as there is now the trend of baby mamas. But even someone like Future who has 3 to 4 baby mamas still wanted to marry Ciara. Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

Why would a man get illogical enough to assault or kill people because he was cheated on? It’s simple, we have a possessive nature and in a moment of madness we just want to share our pain, and if an acid is what one feel it would take to communicate their anguish then they use it because one one’s drowning in pain, it only feel logical. Worst of all your best friend and your wife, they two closest people in your life asides your family who are obligated by blood. The two people whom are closest to you only ‘cos you chose them as they chose you, only ‘cos they were there at your ugliest times and stayed, only ‘cos they see the best in you, only ‘cos you could die for them as you believe they would do the same, only ‘cos the love those 2 people professed that gave you life is actually hate and you wish them death in an instant of rage! Shit, Damn, Motherfucker!

What love comes with…

Love comes with peace

Peace in the knowledge all you did wasn’t perfect but it was pure

Peace in that you bare yourself and gave it your all

Peace in the fact that you shared a part of your life with someone

Peace in giving a part of your earning to something worth more

Peace comes with strength

Strength to give yourself with the risk of being rejected

Strength to hold on way longer than you expected

The strength to be the foundation for someone else’s growth

And walk away feeling the need to claim none as your own

The strength to be yourself and go against the norm

The strength to adapt yourself but never conform

Strength comes with knowledge

Knowledge to see other’s weaknesses through their anger

Knowledge to gently lead them away from their raging fire

Knowledge to use peace and strength to put on a smile

That sustains you and lets love flow like the Nile

Knowledge you genuinely believe without a hint of pretence

Knowledge to know that love isn’t weakness but strength

Knowledge to let love bring out the best in you

Knowledge to know what other things love has given you

Why assume? Just ask!

(So he thought Musa won’t tell me abi?)

(I bet he doesn’t know that it’s not how long but how well)

(He doesn’t know Musa is closer to me)

(How dare he go behind my back and discuss our little disagreement with Musa of all people!)

(He had the audacity to say bad things about me to someone unimportant)

(It’s my fault, I have been nice hence him taking me for granted)

(Anyway he would soon be here)

(I would see how he would wriggle out of this one)


Few minutes later…

“Hello Ronke”


“Ronke, hi”


(She seems rather deep in thought, I hope all is well)

(Or could it be because of our recent misunderstanding?)

Slight tap on her shoulder…

“Ronke are you alright?”

“I’m fine”

“You seemed lost in thought, is everything alright?”

Raises voice slightly…

“I said I’m fine!”

“I heard you it’s just that I know you well enough to know when something is wrong”

(Ehen? See me see trouble o, is it by force?)

“But I have said nothing is wrong, or do you want something bad to happen?”

“No! It’s just; is this about our recent misunderstanding?”

“What about it? Please it’s too small an issue to fuss over”


(Hmmm I’m confused)

(If she is not upset about it then what could be the issue and why is she refusing to say?)

(Well when she is ready to talk she will)

(I came here to relax and I won’t let anyone spoil my fun)

“Its fine, let me go say hi to the other people, just thought to check on you first”


He leaves to chat up other people at the get together…

(If you like don’t check on me at all, you haven’t seen anything yet, good riddance!)


The two spend the rest of the night mingling with friends but never each other

Ronke leaves unusually early to avoid Chike talking to her again

Chike notices this few minutes later and concludes it was because of him she left

He is upset that she is blowing the little matter out of proportion

He decides he won’t call her till she makes first contact and apologises for her behaviour

She waits for him to come over and beg her to tell him what’s wrong

The two don’t speak for the next few days

They don’t speak the next few weeks

They don’t speak for a couple of months…


The two ultimately get busy and forget about each other, getting lost in the works of life…

A few years later they meet at a function

Each tries to remember why they stopped talking but can’t seem to

Regardless they still feel upset and neither talks to the other

They both leave the function with nostalgia

They both go on to lead separate lives each remembering the other every now and then…



It’s often said that the person who cares less has the power in the relationship. This mind set has led a lot of emotional people to be conscious about their relationships. They magnify every little detail in order to protect themselves and thus they end up making assumptions. These assumptions usually grow into something bizarre and when fuelled by emotions, the individual begins to believe these cooked up thoughts to the point of searching for evidence to support their made up theories which eventually may become their reality. As blunt as it may sound, this in fact is not too far from an episodic psychosis.

Remember, every wildfire starts from a little spark. In a time where the trend is to tell people what they want to hear regardless of its substance of truth, people often build on assumptions just for it all to collapse on the foundation of deceit. They then take those failures into other relationships. Sadly, this often puts them in a situation where they might mess up something good by applying the lessons they learnt from something bad.

“Assumption is the mother of all screw ups”

Simply put, DON’T make assumptions. Just ask! It might be your fault, the other person’s fault, either your faults or even a simple misunderstanding but only speaking up would clear that up.

If only Ronke swallowed her pride and spoke up, maybe they would have had reparation and held on to their friendship.

Here’s your proof

Do you believe in a higher being? Yes? No? Undecided? I totally get you. As I stated in a preceding post, Here’s your sign, the basis of Christianity is on faith which in itself isn’t a logical thing. So logically, any approach to it from the point of logic is illogical in itself. A while back, in a discussion with a friend on some tough recruitment questions from some of the world’s biggest firms, the question ‘Do you believe in a higher power?’ came up. Playing on the pun ‘higher power’, I applied mathematics to it and without a definite end in mind I ended up answering him.

What’s 2^2?

The answer is 4 right?


What’s 4^3?

64 right?


Now what’s ∞^∞?


I’m all ears?

Did I hear you say ∞?


Did I hear you say ∞^∞?


I want a numerical solution as in the earlier questions.

Any answers?

No uh? 😦

I thought so.

Life is beautiful in that at times the answer we seek is staring us right in the face and yet we are blinded to them.

The answer is that God is infinite.


And so is His love.


Just as we can never put a numerical value to ∞ or ∞^∞ as they are both indefinite terms, we can never truly put a definition to God. We refer to ourselves as the one, four times a lady, the cat with nine lives and so on, but who really can plainly state an aspect of their lives that is infinite without it being limited by time, space and resources? If we as humans are numbers with absolute values it would be plausible to take it that God is quantifiable to ∞. Why would we believe that infinity is allowed in mathematics only but can’t be applied to other aspects of knowledge? I believe this is an applicable theory in explaining the relationship between God and humans. Agree? Disagree? Do let me know. 🙂

Brown Eyed Honey

A sweet smile to make my day

Sparkling eyes that dare me to dream

Silky touch that reminds me you are real

Words that make me laugh

The simple things…

I believe in you and I believe you can do anything

Success is yours and the best is what you deserve…

No anxiety, just anticipation…

No fear, just faith…

No glum, just great…

The feeling of my ear to your back and hearing your heart beat

Knowing I’m one of the reasons it beats continuously…

Hello, hazel eyes, hazy voice

 Brown Eyed Honey

Brown eyes

Brown sugar, as D’Angelo sings

The sweetest type…

Sweet smell

Intoxicating taste, Oh

Your sweet smell

And intoxicating taste


Taste of your lips

While looking into your eyes, deep


Yes, into the depth of your soul

I want to see your soul

The beauty and the imperfection of it

A fabric of friendship and of love let us knit

To keep us warm at night


Yes, when you set my heart on fire

The fire I need to forge my shining armor


Yes, for my princess at the top of the castle

Nothing or no one good comes easy…